i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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