We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
