He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
