i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I did not marry a roomba.
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