All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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