Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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