She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
