I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize