Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bring money and cleavage
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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