So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
