so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
