The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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