Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
