i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
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tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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