I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
