It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
