you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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