help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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