If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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