you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
