i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
