drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
