Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
