I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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