I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
