You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
