I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am puke
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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