No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
