i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i was born a porn star she said
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
