haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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