May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize