I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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