everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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