WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
