its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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