You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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