i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
