My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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