Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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