I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
