so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize