In the future we'll all be gay
another moral hangover. fuck.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
