I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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