I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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