Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.