I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.