No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked