You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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