whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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