We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
