I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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