11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
