I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
