so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
