i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
there is puke in my bra ... again
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