But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
