When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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