I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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